48. "How To Manage Troublesome Stakeholders"

Part of many (research) jobs, is to manage stakeholder relations. Whether you are asking for data, communicating timelines or asking for more resources, stakeholder relationships need to be managed. Here is my advice on what to do if you have a troublesome stakeholder.

My Experience of Troublesome Stakeholders

At one of my workplaces I had a troublesome stakeholder.

The relationship in this project was strained from the beginning. Then the program started underperforming. This added more pressure to the relationship. One side thought we needed to focus on program implementation, the other side thought we needed to focus on the data.

No matter how much data was gathered, it never seemed enough to answer this question.

During a program review period, tempers were high and a mistake was acknowledged that seemed to shatter any trust or good will that had built up between the two sides.

Mistakes are always difficult to manage with a stakeholder.

You show you are not perfect; mistakes can happen, even to you.

When a mistake happens, the stakeholders trust in you will either increase or decrease, but will rarely stay the same.

To increase their trust, you need to be transparent, own your mistake, explain how it happened and why it won't happen again. If you fail at any one of these tasks, their trust will plummet.

You also need to understand what the stakeholder's motivations are, so you can explain how the mistake has impacted on them and propose a way to remedy it.

Unfortunately with troublesome clients it seems like they are always looking for a flaw to expose. It creates a stressful work environment. All you can do is the best job you can do, and seek advice where you are unsure what to do.

Hopefully the troublesome stakeholder is rare for you, and your relationships with the more easy going stakeholders will see you through this rough patch.

The Lessons of Dealing With Troublesome Stakeholders

1. Supportive manager

Your best defence against a troublesome stakeholder is a supportive manager and/or team. When you are all in it together, you have people on your side who will support you even if the relationship sours.

2. Remain professional at all times

You cannot control anyone else's behaviour but your own. So despite how any one else acts, maintain your integrity and act in a manner that is true to you. It might feel good in the moment to fly off the handle and really give them a piece of your mind, but keep your cool. Everyone will see they are being unfair and you will win brownie points for remaining professional.

3. Know mistakes will happen

Mistakes are often unforeseeable, and in most projects at least one mistake will happen. Try to avoid a mistake happening by implementing peer review processes. e.g. present findings internally to see if they all make sense. Ask someone who has not been part of the project to review it to see if it makes sense to them. Ask them if any questions come to mind. This will help prepare you for how the stakeholder will respond.

4. Build up a good rapport

If you have a good relationship with the stakeholder, explaining mistakes or discussing difficult topics becomes easier. If they have a quick question, or are stuck, they will greatly appreciate you calling them promptly to fix it. Or, if you will be delayed let them know when to expect an answer. We are all people and if we provide good reasons for our behaviour, we will build a positive relationship.

5. Know what your stakeholder wants

A stakeholder relationship is like a long negotiation process. If you both know what the other party wants, you have a better shot at both getting it. When I start a new stakeholder relationship I ask them: what worked previously? What hasn't worked? What do they think of the project? Where can it be improved?

As you are new, they will likely be very honest with you. Write down all their concerns and over the coming weeks/months if you find a solution to solve some of their issues ask them if this solution would work. Or tell them you will implement a new solution and ask for their feedback. This will tell the stakeholder you are interested in them, in improving the relationship and their thoughts. Even if you make a mistake with a potential solution, you are winning rapport points which can only serve you in the future.

6. Accept when your best isn't enough

Sometimes, there is no pleasing the troublesome stakeholder. Your best simply is not good enough. In this situation, I like being honest and approaching the stakeholder to say like 'it feels like you are frustrated in this relationship. What can I do to improve it?'

Then really listen to what the stakeholder has to say, they will likely tell you exactly why they are frustrated and you can work together to try to improve it.

Or maybe, you can't fix it. But they know you value them enough to ask what is wrong.

Either way, you know exactly what the problem is which may help you in future stakeholder relationships.

7. Be Kind to Yourself

You have done your best with the stakeholder. Now you feel bad that it is not going well or didn't work out. You didn't mean for this to happen, so be kind to yourself. Tell the negative voice in your head to be quiet.

Then review your performance.

What could you have done differently? Maybe ask your manager for their advice too. You will likely have troublesome stakeholders in the future so it is a skill you need to develop and nail.

8. Know Your Triggers and Act Accordingly

Part of this personal review, might involve discovering your triggers.

My workplace triggers and rudeness and unfairness.

It is difficult for me to maintain a clear head if myself or others are being treated unfairly or someone is being rude.

I know when I see this I need to take a deep breath and assess the situation logically, not emotionally. Is it worth saying something right now? Would it be better to wait until the meeting is over? What is to be gained by me (or another person) if I say something? Why do I want to say something?

9. Persevere

You need to persevere. Unfortunately, this troublesome client will not go away. (And if they did, would you still have a job?) You need to put aside the animosity or frustration and do the best job you can with the project. It is likely that most people at your workplace know about the troublesome stakeholder. If you do well, you will get recognised. If you don't do well, it will likely be put down to the troublesome client.

So see if you can make it work, what do you have to lose?

What are your tips for dealing with troublesome stakeholders? Tell me by leaving a comment below or emailing me at AuthenticResearchExperiences@gmail.com

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